User Tools

Site Tools


my_memoir

Differences

This shows you the differences between two versions of the page.

Link to this comparison view

Both sides previous revision Previous revision
my_memoir [2021/05/19 11:04]
admin
— (current)
Line 1: Line 1:
-====== My Memoir ====== 
- 
-**//Prologue//** (problems with writing a memoir) 
- 
-I am somewhat protective of this memoir. It is //My Memoir// and I have worked hard to produce the content of its pages. Been through many experiences. Had to own volumes of decisions that resulted in those experiences. And run the risks of it all going belly up. So I claim the right to write it all down in a way that I choose. the question of course is, how???? 
- 
-Most writing has some theme or purpose that guides what is and isn't included in the work. That is an ideal, and even necessary in order to avoid words dribbling off the pen or keyboard. Like so much drool. I've been a long time considering a theme for writing my memoir, but to no avail. Every memory seems to have a dozen stories that it's a part of, and no one story seems adequate to convey all that I wish to say. Each story brings a certain angle to my memories, and either says more than I want, or less than I want to say about them. A string of memories, even in chronological order, says very little. I've found life is lived moment by moment, given meaning (or not) by past moments, only to be rewritten in succeeding moments by the limitations of memory recollection and new perspectives. Our life stories are not linear, but a travelling loop through time. And the ongoing process of recall and revision of the stories is itself a loop travelling through time. As the sources of understanding and meaning making in our lives shift. Or, at least that's how it seems to me. Nor can memories be placed in categories, and organised by them. No, each one exists in a mesh of categories. Caught in a net woven from all of the possible life story's I could tell. Sorting out what stories are more important or relevant than others is itself a story that's part of the same net. Choosing a specific memory to start with has the same sort of issues. First suggests prime importance in some way, and a net doesn't work that way. All strands are necessary for the net to function. Yet a narrative reads from left to right (at least in English), page to page, chapter to chapter. What about starting with a favourite memory? All good except when the favourite is tainted in some way by subsequent events. Sorry, but Buddhism's notion of things being what they are, without being held by any particular desire, is good for dealing with life but meaning maketh the story. Let's not get started on the nets that any readers of this memoir might bring.  
- 
-**//Chapter One//** 
-My mother told me I arrived in the world bum first. That has frequently seemed the right metaphor for how I've done life so far. Or at least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I was woeful at even trying to be a male, which the physical evidence suggests I am. Thirteen years post gender transition I'm still not sure how well I do being female but I am a lot more comfortable in my life trying. Commencing a psychology degree at an age when my colleagues were counting down to retirement certainly felt back to front at times. 
-  
- 
-**//Chapter Two Beechworth//** 
- 
-So, where to begin. Perhaps with a walk along the streets of Beechworth, Victoria. Two friends I was visiting had taken me there for lunch. Those friends, while important to me and valued, are incidental to the narrative I am revealing. This walk led to a bookshop, a favourite haunt of mine. Browsing the rows of book spines, one with the word “Normal” stood out from the rest. Not the only one that did but the one which has turned out to have the more influential narrative. Reading the blurb on the back cover furthered my interest. I'll quote it here, “ ( When I find it )” This author's family life was as far from typical as I had experienced or could imagine, and mine had already has its moments. Being steeped, like some teabag, in a cup of conservative heteronormative brew, required me to seek out antidotes. To expand my notion of “normal”. This author promised that and the book was purchased. Of course I don't believe my finding this book was pure chance or even serendipity. Too many times previously I had “found”, in obscure locations, books that I had on my “nice to have” list or “yes, this book grabs me and demands a reading” list. Found in places I wasn't looking to find them in particular. Understood as a loving God speaking to their child in a personal love language. Dear Reader, feel free to bring your own understanding about this but remember, I am telling my story, not yours. You can write your own memoir. Later I began reading “Normal”. I don't now recall how much later or how quickly I became immersed in its pages. This was the end of 2009. 2010 brought its own narrative, but did include reading this book two or three times. Its world was both intriguingly related to my own, and yet sufficiently removed, to require several readings to take it all in. Even then I missed a lot of detail. Importantly, love ran through the pages of “Normal” in a familiar river that I'd been fortunate enough to have bathed in. In 2011, having had some conclusion to 2010's narrative, I opened a space to address some of my own circumstances. I consulted a list of psychologists on the internet (possibly the APA's website), and one name stood out. Although why it should I had no idea since I'd never sought out psychologists before. Than I checked further, and the familiarity was understood. This psychologist was the author of “Normal”. My reading had overlooked the references in the book to Julie's work as a psychologist in Sydney, where I was living at the time. Two things were obvious, this psychologist had the capacity to understand my own circumstances and issues, and critically, to not be judgemental.  
- 
- 
-[[3 Chapter Three|Chapter Three]] The "Big" Stuff 
- 
-[[4 Chapter Four|Chapter Four]] Narrative Therapy 
- 
-[[5 Chapter Five|Chapter Five]] God  
- 
-[[6_chapter_six_women_stuff|Chapter Six]] Women's Stuff 
- 
-[[7_chapter_seven_authenticity|Chapter Seven]] Authenticity 
- 
-[[8_chapter_eight_do|Chapter Eight]] 
- 
- 
- 
- 
-[[epilogue|epilogue]] 
- 
-